Losing oxygen
by sagalisaleena
Summary: One shot. An epic poem about Bella realizing that the Edward she loved is gone and that he doesn't want her anymore. OOC. AH.


_**Darkness**_

**Darkness**

**Clogging down my view**

**Clogging down my sight**

**Clogging down everything**

**Everything except his eyes**

**But nothing but darkness could be found in them either**

**No emotion**

**Just a smirk**

**This couldn't be**

'**Edward… No**

**Don't leave me**

**You can't leave me**

**You can't**

**I need you**

**You need me'**

**A slow white lie**

**A wish**

**His head bent to one side**

**Dark eyes watching**

**Watching me**

**But they were **_**dark**_

**They had no light**

**They had nothing in them**

**His lips twitched up in a grin and I knew**

**I knew he was going to do it**

**He would leave me**

**Again**

**But for real this time**

**My breathing**

**In panic accelerated**

**Formed two hands around my neck**

**Didn't let any air come in**

**No air**

_**He was my air**_

**But he was gone**

**I could see it in his eyes**

**He had already left me**

**My soul died**

**A little bit for every second that passed**

**Getting emptier and emptier**

**My tears grew cold**

**Still no air**

**Panicked gasps**

**Tears falling faster now**

**Welling up**

**Coloring my cheeks with a sprinkle of fairy drops**

**Like diamonds**

**Glistering**

**With pain**

**Suffer**

**Emptiness**

**He **_**saw**_** me slowly die**

**He **_**saw**_** my lack of air**

**He **_**knew**_** I was unstable**

**He **_**knew**_** I was so frail**

**When he took me in his arms**

**And saved me from myself**

**I thought that he loved me**

**Wanted me**

**I tried to kiss him**

**But found myself lying at the ground**

**Facing earth**

**Dirt**

**The slow corrosion of broken life**

**His eyes were darker**

**His hand was disgusted**

**His lips cold as he said**

'**You thought I was going to let you go so simply**

**Thought I was going to let you leave the simple way**

**Die**

**No pain**

**You deserve pain**

**You disgust me**

**I'm so tired of you**

**Who are you trying to fool**

**How did you ever excepted me to love someone like you**

**A pathetic creature**

**A worm**

**Leave your prayers for someone else**

**Leave all that you so dearly wish to say**

**Leave all the thoughts of owning me**

**You don't own me**

**You never will**

**Isabella**

**Why can't you see**

**I**

**Don't**

**Want**

**You**

**I have someone already**

**Someone a thousand times prettier**

**A thousand times more beautiful**

**More gorgeous**

**More loveable**

**Than you**

**So please listed to me**

**I don't want you**

**I don't love you**

**I hate you'**

**I**

**Hate**

**You**

**Nothing was clear**

**Nothing was real any more**

**Everything was just fading**

**Everything was just pain**

**I didn't want to believe**

**He didn't love me**

**His eyes didn't love me**

**His hands…**

**Even his hand didn't love me**

**They had seemed to love me so much before**

**Before her**

**Before him shutting me out**

**Before him telling me good bye**

**I had begged him to stay**

**I had begged him to keep me**

**Been going through his window at nights**

**Watching him chase me away**

**Leaving my soul behind**

**An echo of me**

**I had wished**

**I had hoped**

**I had begged**

**But there was no light in his eyes**

**His hands was disgusted**

**My breathing couldn't even panic**

**My eyes couldn't even cry**

**The palm of my hand comforting my hair**

**Trying with my other hand to make me stay put together**

**Trying to keep me from exploding**

**I was exploding**

**But mostly dying**

**My soul so empty in the bottom of my tummy**

**It wanted to die**

**I wanted to die**

**Cold fingers cradling me closer**

**Keeping me close to the ground**

**The darkness**

**The pain**

**His eyes**

**Disgusted**

**Not wanting me**

**My eyes shut down the lights**

**Couldn't keep up the believing anymore**

**No more tears falling down**

**No more panicked gasps**

**Emptiness**

**I was empty**

**Faded**

**No one**

**Just me and the ugly clog in my chest**

**Killing me from the inside**

**My eyes died with my soul as he looked at me**

**They were cold**

**Metallic**

**I couldn't let him go**

**I wouldn't let him go**

**I couldn't make him stay**

_**I could not make him stay**_

**I would try**

**But it was too late**

**He was already gone**

**He wasn't mine anymore**

**Had he ever been**

**He had pulled me up just to hit me to the ground**

**His eyes impatient**

**Irritated**

**This wasn't him**

**This wasn't my Edward**

**Where had he gone**

**The Edward with warm eyes**

**Warm hands**

**Warm feet caressing mine as we lay in bed the whole day**

**And the whole night**

**Just wanting to look at each other**

**Wanting the touch**

**Where had he gone**

**Was he gone**

**I looked up**

**Once again**

**To find nothing at all**

**Realizing he was gone**

**My Edward was gone**

**Not fully realizing**

**Not fully wanting to see it**

**So hard to believe something unbelievable**

**Still knowing**

**This was the end**

**He was gone**

**Soon was I**

**No last good bye**

**He turned away**

**Leaving me dead**

**On the cold ground**

**Minutes past**

**Hours too**

**I didn't want food**

**I didn't want to drink**

**I didn't want to live**

**It was all over**

**This was the end**

**I couldn't see**

**I couldn't move**

**Day became night**

**Night became day**

**Repeated itself**

**I hated the light**

**I rose the third day**

**My body had to die too**

**It was aching too much after the memories of him**

**I didn't wanted the memories**

**The pain as my skin longed for his hands**

**The pain when my lips thought his was near**

**The pain when I thought of his dead metallic eyes**

**When I realized he wasn't mine anymore**

**That he was gone**

**After I rose the third day**

**I didn't wanted to live**

**I wasn't living**

**He was the only one I had**

**Had**

**He was now something I didn't have**

**He was my air**

**I had no air**

**And no panic attacks could ever make me breathe again**

**Since he**

**The only one who could save me -**

**Wasn't there**

**He was gone**

**Soon was I**

**Slow steps forward**

**Pushing me closer to the edge**

**Soon I was there**

**The sea was dancing fiercely beneath me**

**Under**

**Over**

**Why should I care**

**I wanted to join the dance**

**Wanted to be caressed**

**Wanted to disappear**

**Be one with the emptiness**

**I couldn't care anymore**

**He was my only one**

**My life**

**I was already empty enough**

**I was already dead**

**Better make it for real**

**Sometimes it takes a sleep to forget**

**A long sleep**

**This one would last for eternity**

**I closed my eyes**

**And jumped**

**A/N: **

**This is my first published one- shot at and I hope you liked it. **

**If you did, please review and let me know.**

**Personally I like my stories to speak for themselves, but if you have so questions you're of course welcome to ask them.**

**Thank you for reading! **

**Saga **


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